After about 3 months of being in India, and about a month-and-a-half of being in our “own place”, that’s the thought that came to mind on the drive to the office this morning. I am uncomfortable. The wife is uncomfortable. The kids are not directly uncomfortable but they have changed and are probably showing their disconnect by their changing (for the worse) behavior.
Fish out of water? Not quite, but fairly close. I was in the US for 16 years, and my wife for 12. The kids have only seen the US life and lifestyle. Neither my wife nor I have set up a family in India. I left India when I was still kinda under the security blanket of my parents.
It is not the traffic. It is not the lack of true, good friends. It is not the lack of discipline. It is not the lack of ownership. It is not the fact that despite being close to most of my team here in India, most of the management is still in the US so I am always “behind” on email because I have to react to management emails.
I think, for me, it is a little bit of everything above, and maybe some more. I feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel “at home” when I come home.
Can’t tell if this is something that I can get over, or not. At this point odds are very small that I can get over. Especially considering that everyone else in the family is going through the same, and maybe in the wife’s case, even worse state of being disconnected.
The road was expected to be bumpy, but as it turns out, the bumps may be too many for us.
2 thoughts on “Fish out of water?”
Sixteen years living abroad is a long, long time, so it’s no surprise you’re being uncomfortable. Hang in there and solutions to some of the problems will start materializing though not all. A few months is not enough time to discover the *other* things you may not even be aware of that you were missing, that will make your staying here worthwhile. It may help to revisit your dreams and goals when you planned to shift and assess how to enhance your chances of achieving them, rather than just get frustrated by the problems.
Yes, I understand what you are saying Mahendra. I have only been optimistic and positive. Despite things that truly would annoy me in the US (like the indiscipline and lack of ownership shown by service providers especially), I have tried to dismiss those as micro-level issues. However, like I said, there are just too many of those micro-issues that have really made me/us doubt if the macro-purpose is really worth it.
None of the issues that have been occurring are really “settling down” issues. These are all things that would happen all the time, regardless of whether we are new to the country or not. That is what is worrisome, more than the issues themselves.
Thanks for reinforcing the optimism! Appreciate it.